Not going home for Xmas

I have decided against going home this year for Christmas. It is too soon to go home and I'm worried that if we step back into the UK we won't want to come back here, me especially!

We were supposed to be staying with Tess so we have invited her over here, not sure whether she is coming yet or not but we'll wait and see, hopefully she will because we would love to see her!

Dolmus

Forced myself out on a Dolmus today, it really wasn't that bad. The driver ushered me to the back of the bus, I wondered why he had done that at first but then I realised. The reason being that when people get on is that the person sat nearest the driver takes the money asks them where they are going and gives the change. Phew glad I got away with that.....................

Feel so much better now knowing I can get out and about........................

I will pull myself out of this......................

Breakthrough

Ok so forced myself to go out today just to the corner shop. Bought the usual fruit/veg and stuff. Smiled at the girl on the till, she smiled back.

Now that might not mean much to many but it feels like a major achievement to me!!

Now, must just ignore the rubbish that seems to be piling up outside our apartment block. WHY do they dump stuff everywhere, Turks are said to be so proud of their country but I can't see what's to be proud of, the place is like a rubbish tip.

Culture Shock

Ok so culture shock has hit. Apparently quite a common condition which affects most expats especially on the first expat experience.

Spoke to Debra and she is really encouraging me to get out and to try getting out on the buses, this just fills me with total fear.................

I know that the main problem is the language barrier, I can't communicate with anyone so feel isolated not only that if I do communicate with them they don't help but tend to look at you as if you're something they've trodden in.

Debra goes to Turkish lessons, I am determined to beat this thing and stay here for the sake of Paul and the kids. They are so happy here I can't just pack up and go home I have to be happy too. I WILL BE HAPPY HERE.....................

Don't want to go out

I can't face going out today, I've got to get bread from the bread shop but I can't face it. I shut myself in the bedroom for 2 hours and just cried because I have to buy bread?????????????? I don't feel like me anymore, I want to go home and just be able to get in the car and drive to Tesco and not feel like I have to think about every single little thing before I do anything.

I can't stand feeling like this, it's like a black cloud hovering over ahead and it won't leave me alone. I haven't felt this low before, well actually I have because I had it just after I had Alex. I pulled myself out of that and now I need to pull myself out of this but how??????????????????????????

I don't understand why I feel like this, I should be grabbing this opportunity we have been given and making the most of it but I don't feel I can...............

Not Feeling Great

Ok so I have to admit now that I'm not feeling so positive about being here. I miss my family and friends back home terribly. I should be standing in College House playground at the end of the day chatting to friends while the kids play happily but I'm not, I'm stuck in this apartment all day feeling miserable................

I want to go home..............................

International Day

It was International week this week so the school have had an International Day! Another day of no work and parties. They just seem to party at this school yet they seem to be progressing nicely too, odd!!

Unfortunately Alex missed it because he still has this virus thing, poor kid...........

Alex off school

Alex is off school today with a temperature and headache. Weird virusy type thingy!! A few kids have been off with the same thing................

Hannah!!

There was some confusion at school Friday which started off with Hannah telling her teacher she was vegetarian!! A note came home in her home communication book asking me if I wouldn't mind going in and giving a talk to the class on what it is like being a vegetarian - they are doing about healthy food this week. So I asked Hannah what it was about and she said she didn't know, anyway I put a note in her book yesterday asking what it was about and her teacher wrote back Hannah had said she was vegetarian and seemed quite definite about it. So I questioned Hannah again tonight and she said "oh yes I did say that, I said it because I like vegetables so I thought that meant I was vegetarian".

Kids gotta love 'em!!!!!!!!

Mum and Lin Coming in May

YAY just booked tickets for Mum and Lin to come over in May. Really looking forward to seeing them!!!!

Temperatures have dropped.......

The weather has changed now, it is much cooler and wetter with daily temps of around 14 - 16oC. Still not cold but getting there............................

Hmmmmmmmmmm weird no fireworks

Well it's bonfire night in UK. Seems weird that there are no fireworks going off, I mean there wouldn't be because Turks know nothing about bonfire night but it still seems strangely quiet lol!